Obama, Irish Government Ink Narcissistic Supply Chain Deal

Dublin - U.S. President Barack Obama and the Irish Ministry of Culture today signed a multi-year agreement for "mutual codependency."

On behalf of the Irish people, the Irish Ministry agreed in principle to provide the President of the United States with continuing "narcissistic supply" so long as he shall "occupy a position of power as either President of the United States, Secretary General of the United Nations or other position of global importance."

"Codependency is a major export of the Irish people. This continues a long and revered Irish tradition -- running from John Fitzgerald Kennedy to Ronald Reagan to Bill Clinton to Barack Obama -- of idealizing any American President with even a scintilla of Irish blood,"  said Bertie McGirk, spokesman for the Irish Ministry of Culture. "It's a win-win, really, as the Irish people get to feel important in the presence of an important person, and President Obama gets to feel important too."

Obama, in exchange, has promised, if he's "not busy," to "return yearly to say nice things about Ireland."

World Leaders Praise Obama's Focus On LeBron James Situation

New York City -- Expressing deep concern that LeBron James could become a New York Knick, French President and Chicago Bulls fan Nicholas Sarkozy today nevertheless expressed confidence that President Obama would "do everything in his power" to ensure that LeBron James would start the next season in the Windy City.

"I saw the President's interview with Marv Albert today, and it gave me great hope," said Sarkozy, visiting New York to scout new players.

Likewise German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou, who today took the unusual step of sending a joint communique to Washington expressing deep concern that James could end up a New York Knick. (Both Merkel and Papandreou are ardent fans of the Philadelphia 76ers, conference rival to the Knicks.)

"'Bron could make our team's life very difficult," said Merkel.

Meanwhile, Vice President Joseph Biden, who has been sent by the President to "monitor" the Gulf oil spill situation, now approaching its 40th day, when asked by a reporter about the situation, described James as "a big mother____in' deal" and "da s__t."

The President will be boarding a flight to Chicago later today to give a speech urging the Bulls to sign the game's most visible superstar. A move that has been said to be opposed by Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley and presidential chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, both currently working in a presidential task force to "monitor" the nation's unemployment and fiscal crisis, and make recommendations to the President.